Some chicken and/or pork. The rest of the measurements are based on two of those giant mutant chicken breasts. I’ve done similar amounts with two chicken thighs and 2 porchops.
Like 3/4s a jar of salsa. Jalapeno salsa is gonna be the best but whatever you like ‘ll be fine. Getting cheap stuff like pace is fine, but good salsa will make a difference.
2 cans of beans with the liquid
Can of diced tomatoes with the liquid
Turn on the crock pot, low is better but ya know we don’t all have time for that, and like chicken is full of salmonella so like
Peel an adequate amount of garlic (like half a bulb), leave cloves whole
Dice 1 onion
If you have jalapenos these are great here too, cut um up and add um with the garlic
Once all that’s started get a pan, get it real hot
If you wanna be fancy, get olive oil to just under 350F, this is totally unnecessary but the smoke-point of olive oil is 350F so that’s the best you can do without setting of alarms.
If you don’t have one of those laser thermometers WAIT TO ADD OIL and occasionally throw some water drops at the pan, if it explodes it’s ready for oil
If you wanna use fat (bacon fat or butter), add it to the pan FIRST then heat, and don’t get it as hot.
If the oil smokes – oops that’s too far, its fine though turn down the heat, get a fan, open a window. If the fat smokes, fuck ok add a little oil and carry on, might add a little bitterness but whatever.
Throw whole garlic (and chopped jalapenos) in pan and get like 1 side a little charred
Thrown onion in pan and toss with garlic
Sprinkle in a punch of salt, this takes two hands, one tossing, one sprinkling
Start crushing the garlic cloves in the pan, be careful, these fuckers are jumpy
It’s done when everything is little blackened on the edges, should be like 2 minutes if the heat is high enough
Add it all to the crock pot
Remove the stems and add like 4-5 smoked chipotle peppers, you can cut um up more but they should fall apart.
You can add more than that, they’re really fuckin’ good
Every once in a while check how tender the meat is
If it looks cooked through but is still tough (like an hour)
ADD SPICES
If you’re lazy those taco packs are fine i guess but ugh
2TBSP of cumin (or 1 if you don’t like cumin)
1TBSP coriander
1TBSP paprika
1TBPS chili powder
1 TSP, cayenne powder HOLY FUCK DON’T ADD TO MUCH
Store cayenne powder usually sucks so if you have any other kinda capsaicinoid just rely on that
The powder allows the heat to survive the rest of the cook, if you just have peppers or a hot sauce you like (like franks), add it later
1 shy tbsp of ground pepper
1 tsp-ish of salt
garlic and onion powder if you’re like me
Keep checking meat tenderness
At this point start to TASTE TEST, adjust above spices as needed
DON’T FORGET SALT, you might have enough all ready but